Tipsy Tiger
by Alicat123
Summary: Diego was given some berries by Sid. Only these berries were alcoholic. What happened to poor Diego? Rated T for adult humor :)


Diego pryed his eyes open, groaning as the low morning sun ached his eyes. There was a distant lapping of waves, and morning birds chirping away. He rolled over from is current position, and sprawled out backwards, stretching his leg muscles. The ground was soft and warm, gritty too. He rolled back over, his eyes still were still shut.

With some mighty effort he raised him self, flexing is toes in the sand. Diego looked around, he was on the shore...

'there is the ice ship, there's that statue...' He told himself.

He sat back on his haunches, looking behind him. He couldn't remember a thing. Only that he ate some berries Sid had given him and... wait. Diego looked around, he caught sight of his paw prints. They lead from the the forest to where he must of passed out. If anything, that would get him one step further. So without hesitation, Diego slumbered into the forest.

After some time, Diego came across Sid's tree. Surprisingly, Sid wasn't in his usual sleeping branch, Diego sighed. He took one paw, and lazily hooked it on a branch, shaking it violently.

"Sid! Hey bud... mind explaining why my head hurts?" He yelled groggily.

Footsteps were heard from behind.

"OH! Diego! That's where you are! We were so worried" A voice called, it was Ellie.

Diego tuned and gave a faint smile, then staggered forward nearly tumbling over, thankfully Ellie caught him. And gave him ruff hug.

"thanks Ellie, can you tell me what happened?" he asked pleadingly. She looked at him funny, stood him up and backed away.

"You don't remember anything?" She questioned

Diego innocently shook his head. Ellie gave a light chuckle.

"well tiger. Sid, fed you some berries. They were alcoholic berries. Once you had a few, you … were a little drunk. You ran around the island a few times, with granny on your back. Started swimming back and forth in the lake. You climbed the hyrax statue, and tried to fight a tree. Oh yeah, you catnapped Shira." She laughed.

Diego looked horrified at her, his jaw hit the floor.

"oh" was his response. He stared at her for a moment. Confused and in disbelief. He nodded slowly, then narrowed his gaze.

"what do you mean 'catnapped' Shira? You mean to say I Catnapped my own girlfriend?" He asked. Quoting using his paws.

"yep. It was just after your little moment, and we were talking when Shira decided to go get you. Soon we heard laughter, then you came whizzing past with her on your back." She exclaimed scratching the back of her head.

"we haven't seen her since"

Diego gave a small confused nod, and took off giving his goodbye to Ellie. He could smell her scent, but it was coming from the jungle.

* * *

He dashed for the scent, he could smell it even more now... suddenly he skidded.

A beautiful sight lay in front of him, which had literally made him speechless. Mass waterfalls circled one small island at the bottom of a waterfall, surrounded with exotic bushes, which were intoxicating. The middle island was cover with leaves and large flowers. Something white and striped was centred in the middle. It was Shira.

Diego carelessly leaped over to the island, he could just about see her chest slowly raising up and down. Shira turned over and faced Diego, smiling and stretching she sighed dreamily.

"Well Diego, That night was eventful" She lightly chuckled rolling back over on to her side.

Diego smirked and sauntered up to her. He slumped down next to her tiredly.

"Can you tell me what happened? Apparently I catnapped you?" he laughed.

She crawled over to him, laughing slightly.  
"oh, the remorseless assassin can't remember?" She teased.

Diego shook his head pulling Shira into an embrace, nibbling her ears.

"No"

"oh, well you found me. You put me on your back, then you ran around for a bit. You dumped me here.." she was slowly scratching his chin when she was cut short by Sid.

"HELLO! Oh Diego you are okay. AND SHIRA! You're here too!"

Both sabres shot up, sitting back coughing awkwardly. Diego glared at Sid who was wading towards them, with a huge goofy grin on his face.

He tripped over at the shore. Dusting himself off he smiled at Diego.

"Where did you go? You disappeared with Shira then never came back." he lisped scratching the back of his head.

Shira stepped in

"maybe I can tell you, Diego can't remember. He catnapped me, ran around the island singing songs. Then we spent the night... Polishing each others teeth" she winked unsheathing her claw and raking the lower part of Diego's back.

Diego tried to keep himself from purring,

"Oh, well hope they are nice and shiny". Sid chuckled unknowingly, waddling away.

Diego stared at the sloth, shocked at how gormless he must be.

"Thanks a lot Shira." he slapped his paw against his face, and sighhed.

"You love it really" she giggled.

Shira slinked away , rubbing her side against the speechless Diego. Shira would have to wait. Sadly. Diego needed to go see Manny and apologise, maybe he would understand that it was SIDS fault. As quick as a flash he bolted for the cave.

* * *

He skidded in panting heavily, he caught sight of him talking to granny.

"Hey, lady's here." she squawked waving her stick around .in her usual fashion. Manny turned around to see Diego. Who was sat nervously looking at him.

"Oh look. You look in great shape" he laughed statistically, handing granny a peach.

Diego chuckled.

"Sid decided to give me some of those berries. Im so sorry.." he was cut off by a small bowl which slid in front of him. He raised an eyebrow eyeing Manny.

"What is this?"

"Sids lunch. Full of lotus berries and the ones you had last night. Have fun" he casualty stated walking off.

Diego grinned evilly, revenge was at steak.

* * *

Sid woke up. He couldn't move. He panicked. Where was he?

"er anyone?" he yelled.

Suddenly a hyrax sniffed his ear. That's when it hit him. He was at the top of the hyrax statue.


End file.
